


Humanity's a Chore

by c_ass_tiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Learns to be Human, First Kiss, Fluff, Human Castiel, Human Castiel in the Bunker, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-25
Updated: 2015-11-25
Packaged: 2018-05-03 08:35:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5284004
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/c_ass_tiel/pseuds/c_ass_tiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set in the bunker where Cas is a human, he struggles to keep up with all the necessities of being a human and taking care of himself. Mind and body, Cas is not equipped with the knowlege of how to take care of himself. Luckily, he has Dean, who can show him the ropes of being human.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Lesson one- Showers

The bunker was quiet, except for the occasional flick of a page turning and the soft sound of classic rock crackling on the radio.

Dean was leaning over a book with hunched shoulders, reading about Greek Gods in his favorite gray robe. He was sipping coffee with pursed lips when Cas walked in.

"I require assistance," Cas said in his gravelly voice.

Dean looked up at Cas. His hair was on end and his shirt untucked. His usual trench coat was no where on his body and one button in the middle of his shirt was unbuttoned.

"Whats up, Cas?"

"I have never undressed before," Cas gestured to his body with wide arms and a head nod. "I am not familiar with how to use contraptions such as buttons and zippers." Cas squinted at Dean as he walked closer.

Dean cleared his throat and widened his eyes. "Uh buddy, I'll show you how to unbutton your shirt and take off your pants and shoes, but I am not undressing you." Dean pointed at Cas.

Cas nodded, and Dean lead them to his room. He opened the drawer of his dresser and grabbed jeans and a flannel for Cas. He turned to face him and caught a whiff of Cas's scent.

"Son of a bitch," Dean coughed and brought his hand to his nose. "Cas, have you showered today? Or ever?"

Cas squinted at Dean, then looked down and sniffed himself. "I have never been required to. I am unsure of how to work showers."

"I can tell you how they work. You just seriously need to shower; you smell like Sam after his workouts." Dean lead Cas to his bathroom, getting a towel from the closet on the way. "Turn the knob to the right to make the water flow out. Use this bottle to wash your body and your hair. When you're done, turn the knob to the left and dry yourself off with a towel."

Cas nodded, and pulled at his tie with a confused look on his face.

"Right, here I'll do that for you." Dean started pulling the knot in this tie apart, feeling Cas's warm breaths land upon his head. Dean looked up at Cas, their eyes meeting. They gazed at each other until Dean cleared his throat and said "All set."

"Now onto these," Dean said as he started to unbutton the top button on Cas's shirt. "See how I did that?"

Cas nodded.

"Your turn," Dean stepped back, watching Cas unbutton his shirt.

Cas smiled as he successfully unbuttoned his shirt.

Dean told Cas how zippers work, and Cas tried it out, unzipping his fly and pulling down his pants with a huge grin on his face. 

"Cas! You can't just pull down your pants in front of another dude!" Dean looked at Cas's thick, muscular thighs and then at the bulge in his boxers for a moment before looking at the ceiling.

"My apologies, Dean." Cas said, his big blue eyes looking at Dean in a way that would make you forgive him for smiting the whole universe.   

Dean walked away before Cas became fully undressed. And as Dean walked down the hall, he heard the squeak of the shower knob turning and the water running, followed by a moan from Cas as the water hit his back. Dean felt a small pressure in his pants, but shook it off as he downed a glass of whiskey.


	2. Lesson Two- Booze and Food

Dean was on his second glass of whiskey when Cas came in. Steam rose from his damp skin and a towel was loosely wrapped just below his hips.

Dean's eyes trailed from Cas's pecs to his slight abs and down his happy trail. He gazed at how Cas's skin glistened from the shower. He was snapped out of his daze by the sound of Cas's deep voice speaking to him.

"I thoroughly enjoy cleansing myself." Cas shook his hair like a wet dog then his stomach produced a loud grumble that even Dean could hear. Cas looked down at his stomach then up at Dean with scrunched eyebrows and pouty lips.

"I think you might be hungry, Cas." Dean got up and walked into the kitchen with his high ball glass filled with whiskey. Dean grabbed a soft blue robe draped on a chair and tossed it to Cas. "Put this on, you can't just walk around the bunker in a towel thats barely holding on."

Cas nodded and slipped on the robe, dropping his towel once he secured the robe.

Dean got out two beef patties, two pans and cheese and buns. Cas followed just a step behind him as Dean raced around the kitchen. Dean turned on the stovetop and laid out two pans on burners.

"Okay, Cas. I'm gonna teach you how to make a good burger, one of the most important things to know as a male human."

Cas nodded, watching Dean closely as he explained the process of making a burger.

After they placed their patties on the buns, Cas's slightly burnt, Dean looked up at Cas and smiled.

"Nice job, I didn't you had it in you," Dean slapped Cas's back and his eyes lowered to Cas's chest, which was exposed. The robe had slowly come undone as they were cooking. "Cas tie your robe," Dean grunted.

Cas hurriedly tied his robe, then grabbed his plate and sat down at the table. Dean joined him, bringing Cas a high ball glass with whiskey just like his own.

"Now you're really living, Cas," Dean said, touching his glass to Cas's. Cas smiled and took a sip of his whiskey, wincing a bit as the liquid burned his throat. He took a tentative bite of his burger, moaning as he swallowed.

Dean watched Cas inhale his burger, moaning with every new bite and washing it down with whiskey. Dean smiled, his chest feeling warm, but not from the whiskey. From Cas.

Dean writhed in his seat every time he heard Cas moan, and when Cas was done, he chuckled at Cas's warm cheeks and huge smile. Cas poured himself another glass of whiskey, and Dean finished his burger in one big bite. 

As Dean crumpled up his napkin and threw it onto his plate, Cas stumbled over, giggling to himself.

"Whats up, Cas," Dean said, grabbing Cas's elbow to steady him.

"My next human mission," Cas giggled, obviously drunk, "should be going on a date. I have these... romantic and sexual desires that I never experienced as an angel. At least, not to this extremity."

Dean raised his eyebrows at the sight Cas, who is normally stiff and formal, all loose and loopy. "Alright.." Dean said cautiously, "want to hit up a bar tonight? I could show you my moves."

Cas slid onto Dean's lap and nodded while he giggled and sipped more whiskey. Dean struggled, once again, to keep his composure when Cas dangled himself in front of Dean.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to leave comments/questions/suggestions!
> 
> Also follow me on tumblr @uncannycas!!!


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